She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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