I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am available for nakedness
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
