i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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