they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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