You can't special order awesome
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
