do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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