I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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