paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
