you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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