i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
