I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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