Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
