I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize