Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
