is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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