The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
