get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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