Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
