Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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