I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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