when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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