I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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