Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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