Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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