you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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