he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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