Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
