Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
