I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
