Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
