Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
