Taylor Swift is so right about you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
