Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
