also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
