I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
