Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize