Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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