he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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