K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
