i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have already put on my inside pants.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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