I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
