I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
