But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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