Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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