She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
