I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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