I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I party with great urgency now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
