U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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