found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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