you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
