just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
