You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
