Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
this is an emotional support booty call
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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