We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
