do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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