lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We have so much sex to catch up on
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
