All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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